Number Three

Many times, I’ll rather not share my thoughts under the ‘God and I’ category on here. Why? Well, I don’t want to be a preacher or one who doesn’t practice what she preaches or be judged or something. The point is that I’m not comfortable sharing that part of me. Somehow, I couldn’t hold back some of my thoughts and my itchy fingers started typing this.

Okay, I went for evening mass today and the gospel was taken from Luke 8: 4-15. – the parable of the sower and the seeds. We remember that:

Category 1: some seeds fell on the edge of the path and was trampled on and birds came and ate them all.

Category 2: some seeds fell on rock and when it came up it withered away, leaving no moisture.

Category 3: some seeds fell among thorns and the thorns grew with it and choked it.

Category 4: some seeds fell into rich soil and grew and produced its crops in different and several folds.

Sometime ago, I came to the conclusion that each and everyone of us fall into one of the four categories of seeds. I feel, rather let me speak for myself, I feel that at some point in my life I’ve been in one these categories. At the time, I honestly believed that I was in the fourth category. I didn’t believe that I fell into any other place (I’m sure my conscience was laughing at me). Today as I think about it I’ll say I fall under the third category. The result of The third category is that they are the people who have heard, but as they go on their way, they are choked by the worries and riches and pleasures. 

Yes, this is me right there. How many times have I heard the Word of God and told myself that I shall adhere and conform to His teachings in the Bible but after my meditation or the preaching/sermon that goes on in church I forget? How many times have I confessed and brought my sins at the feet of Christ and still gone back to the same sin?

*sigh*

I still fail to remember that God’s mercies are infinite and He’ll still forgive me. But you know what He wants me to do? He wants me to accept my faults, to accept my sins and ask for forgiveness. He wants me to try; to try my possible best not to go back to that sin or to remember Him when I’m met with those temptations. And that doesn’t change the fact that He still wants me to keep confessing my sins to  Him. Why? Because whether I like it or not I am a sinner and that’s why He died for me. He wants to redeem me.

So today, I have accepted that I am in the third category hoping to land in the fourth one someday. I hope that I maintain the third and climb to the fourth rather than going back to to the first and second categories.

Have you accepted which category you fall under and want to do something about it?

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A rant about Blackberry Messenger 2

I wrote something about BBM here and someone mentioned that I didn’t include those who share your pin without permission. I also realized that I needed to address that and other issues regarding BBM.

I think it’s horrendous that people either friends or acquaintances share your pin with others (whether ‘others’ here consist of your mutual friends or not). Whatever happened to asking for my consent? Just a week ago, I put up a picture of two lady friends of mine as my display picture (subsequently referred to as DP), a friend/contact started chatting with me. At first he made small talk then went into his main reason for chatting with me – he wanted the blackberry (subsequently referred to as BB) pins of my friends in the DP. Apparently, said friends were mutual friends of his – we were all in same the department in university. I quickly asked my lady friends if they were cool with me giving him their pins. One gave an affirmative and the other didn’t.

My point? The fact y’all are friends doesn’t mean you’re close enough to have each other as BBM friends. Some people are better being friends in person than over the screen.

I remember when I got my first BB and I added people (both known and unknown) just as soon as they sent a request. I wanted a variety of people on my contact list. It was cool at first until I realized how it was beginning to be irksome. I also realized that there were a number of people (strangers) whom I chatted frequently with and knew a lot about me. I cannot say I did not know them but not as much as they did me. It didn’t take me long to realize that I needed to uproot some contacts from my phone and my life.

Then there were those ones that demanded your attention even when you were busy. If I haven’t opened/read your IM then it means I am busy or not unavailable to chat at that time.  How does someone start chatting with you early as early as 5am just because. I should not forget the ones that start conversations with PING! (God knows how much I hate when my phone vibrates without me changing my profile). Whatever happened to hi, hello, what’s up or whatever you fancy (excluding ‘ping’).

My point? The ping tab should be used when you want to get a person’s attention in a case of emergency.  

Those people that start chatting with you because you change your DP is what I am still yet to understand. Okay, I agree that some people want to compliment your picture or want to relate to a quote you may have used. What I don’t get is why you have decided to chat with me because I changed my picture and you suddenly remembered me or you suddenly want to make conversation. You can even ‘form’ for me a little by waiting for some time and then chatting up on me so that it looks like you were just checking on me. This does not apply to people you chat with on a regular.

Finally, please take some time now (yes, don’t procrastinate) and de-clutter your BBM list. And yes, I’ll still stick to everything I said in my first rant, sue me. 😀

Great pieces of (non)sense

Trust me, it doesn’t have anything to do with the post but It’s a beautiful picture. (._.)

Today’s post maybe regarded as banal to some but I hope you still read it to the end. If you do then I like you. :*

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It’s been over two weeks I came back from Ibadan and I planned to write about the period I spent there. I went to visit my sister’s family and in particular my niece.

I stayed in Ibadan for a month during which I visited nobody. I can’t say I’m proud of myself. I have a few friends that I could have visited but I didn’t tell them that I came to Ibadan. I even chatted with one of them while I was there and I deliberately let her assume that I was in Abuja. You would think I was so occupied that I didn’t want to see them. The fact is that I wasn’t. My period in  Ibadan was spent going to the hospital or shopping. No, I wasn’t ill. I only happened to be taking several tests for law school which I will be going to in October. Yes, I did shop a lot. Okay, a little; I went to several shops looking for formal wears, white shirts in particular because I need them for school. For someone who hates window shopping, I seized the opportunity when I entered several shops looking for white shirts by checking out clothes and accessories even if I couldn’t buy them. It’s not like I wouldn’t have wanted to buy but I had a tight budget and I had to focus on buying white shirts before looking at any other thing. I went to a market where the seller gave me over twenty shirts and I could only pick one because the rest were of poor quality. I didn’t even bother with the other shops so I stuck with the boutiques.

Note to self: YOU must study and work hard so you can buy the simplest and most elegant of the lot.

It may or may not be obvious that I’m a loner which best explains why I can stay on my bed all day as long as I’m given a laptop that’s got internet and electricity. I recently realized that I have a thing against watching TV. I just feel there’s no point spending any length of time on it when I can find whatever I’m looking for online or I could read a novel or something.  Unfortunately, my brother-in-law, Q couldn’t understand and whispered to my sister that he thought it was weird I stay in my room for long periods without watching TV or talking with them. My sister told me about Q’s comment so I started dividing the time I spent in my room by watching TV in the living room and having conversations with them. Many times DsTv was boring but boredom made me check channels that I wouldn’t have gone to at all. I spent a few hours watching the travel channel. I learnt inter alia that whenever the Chinese migrate/emigrate, they always settle in the most successful city in that country. So I finally understood how Chinatown in Lagos came about.

Have you ever heard of a culture where plates are broken and people dance over the plates? Well, Cyprus has such a culture. I’m not sure they are the only ones but I also watched it on TV.

Then I watched the wedding ceremony of a sixteen year old gypsy girl. Gosh! I must say that they are very dramatic. The whole carriage thing, her elaborate wedding dress and make up, and the fact that she is expected to be a stay at home mum while she quits her education is what I didn’t understand. I always thought gypsies were basically nomads and fortune tellers that wore too many clothes until the day I watched the ceremony. What I really like about them is how closely knitted the families are and how they make sure their culture and traditions aren’t forgotten.

I really enjoyed spending time with my niece. She’s a sweet child until she cries. I want to believe that’s normal among babies. I can say she’s going to be a tall child seeing as she’s growing out of her clothes so soon.  Did I say how expensive babies are? I still wonder how my mother gave birth to six kids. Well, things weren’t as expensive as they are now. I went to the hospital with my sister for the immunization of her daughter. There are just too many vaccines out there. Okay, lemme stop here.

I realized that contrary to public opinion (twitter), Ibadan isn’t so bad. As much as they have many old and rusted roofs (in other words many old buildings), they also have many new buildings/houses.  I like the fact that life isn’t on a fast lane, they have good schools and their cost of living is affordable. Compared to Abuja, their churches are made up of a smaller population which sits well with me and their Sunday school is more educative. I could consider settling there (this is my opinion; the partner may have other ideas). The only problem I have with the people in Ibadan is that they tell you the price of an item based on your dressing, car, diction, etc. My sister, X told me a story about how she went to buy a yard of table cloth that cost N200 (she knew its cost because she had bought it a few weeks before and wanted another). X went to the market with her friend and asked the woman who looked yoruba (a different seller) how much same yard cost and she told her N2000. So X looked at her friend and spoke igbo explaining how much she bought same it before. You won’t believe what happened next. The seller broke X’s conversation with her friend saying in igbo that she knew how much it was but my sister doesn’t want her (the seller) to be like her (my sister).

After my sister told me this, I quickly changed my mind but then, I couldn’t forget the other good things of Ibadan. But then…

Traditions

I’m from the eastern part of Nigeria where we have cultures and traditions like every other place. Today, I want to share some traditions which are archaic but are still followed through in my village.

I came to understand several years back that the tradition in my village says the grandchildren and children who aren’t married must cut their hair when their grandparents die. No, not just cutting it very low but cutting everything out.

I was 8 years old when grandfather died. I didn’t know him much except that he was tall, dark and spoke English fluently. I remember my father growing his hair and beard during that period. Later, I was made to understand that since Father is the first son, from the moment he heard of his father’s death, he must not cut any hair on his body as it is tradition and part of mourning. So Father kept his hair until about a month and cut them after grandfather was buried.

The day after grandfather was buried; I was made to understand that the grandchildren and children were going to scrape their hair. There were exemptions – the female children that were married shouldn’t cut their hair since they were married to their husband and follow his own culture although, her children weren’t exempted. I remember one of my female cousins running out of the compound when she heard about the cutting of hair. Therefore, the single adults (children of the deceased) cut all their hair.

I remember how I cried and kept telling Father that I didn’t want to cut my hair but he kept saying its tradition. At the time, Father was the only one of his male siblings that had children with several daughters. His other sibling had an only child – a son who was about five. I finally cut my hair. I looked at my younger sister who just turned one. Her hair was also cut. I kept wondering why she couldn’t be exempted from cutting her hair since she was too young to know who died or why she should mourn her grandfather by cutting her hair. My grand aunt (grandfather’s wife he married after grandmother died) also cut all her hair. Her hair was burnt while songs were being sung by other women who were in one way related and/or friends. The common feature among them was that they were also widows.

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I can tell you that it was difficult coming back to Abuja and going back to school. I remember friends in school looking at me in a strange way or teachers shaking their heads or kids coming to school to tell me that in their village their parents said they wouldn’t have to cut their hair if their grandparent died. Some even said that they wouldn’t have to cut their hair if it were their parent.

I can’t tell you that I understand this tradition or I understand the fact that my village doesn’t kill snakes when they see them but move them aside because they believe its their ancestors. I know these traditions have been obeyed and passed from generations to generations but it doesn’t mean they make sense. Why would my grandfather die and I have to cut all my hair to show that I am mourning him? I kinda understand the wife and children cutting their hair but not the others. The traditions are extreme! Why can’t one be given a choice to bury another as they choose? So what if I was a man from my village, married with children; if I write a will and among many other things saying that my wife and children should not cut their hair. If I die would my relatives and siblings abide by it or go against it since it’s not the tradition? I keep asking myself this.

I believe cultures and traditions aren’t static. Therefore, they vary from time to time. What maybe favourable in the past may not be favourable in the present. This is the more reason why the traditional rulers and law makers should look into these traditions and make favourable laws.

I must confess that I’m glad I have more sisters than brothers.