Hey! Sorry it took me months to come on here. I don’t know if I’m officially back. Here’s a short story.
I feel that I’m all alone in this world. I have a family. My own nuclear family but I can’t seem to share my thoughts with them. I can’t tell them how much I want to speak efik with them. I know I’ll get laughed at because I don’t have the intonations. I run away from relations that want to keep in touch, as a result.
I have friends, friends that mean well. I can’t seem to connect with them. Chike has called severally, that he wants to visit but I give excuses. Excuses like ‘I just came home and I’m about to sleep’ or ‘I’m going out’, when I know that I’m not going out soon. Enitan has asked me to come over so that we can have some girl-time and she can teach me how to make buns, puff puff and meat pies but I told her that I’ll come when I’m not so busy. She said I can come anytime of the day. I can surprise her now, but I won’t.
My colleagues at work keep asking me to come for the little party they host incorporation with other similar companies every fortnight but I stall that. I tell them that I babysit my niece or there is a vigil I must attend on that particular day.
I have my boyfriend. He is my little piece of heaven. I feel alive and comfortable with him. We connect naturally. He is also my best friend. He can’t always be around because his work keeps him one month with me and the other off shore.
It’s Friday night. I know I should have just hung out with colleagues at the little party since my sister has traveled with my niece or gone for the vigil. Instead I choose to be at home. Now depression has crept in. The boyfriend knows how to chase it away. I guess talking about it with him always brings comfort and his joke makes me light with happiness.
This is the month that he isn’t around; the month that we skype every night. This is the night that we get to play our dirty game. These past few days that MTN network has been the worst, my colleagues bought other networks. I chose to stick to MTN believing that they’ll get better. Therefore, I can’t skype. I would have just called him now if I still had credit. My blackberry messages aren’t delivering either.
The generator just decided to die this minute. I must go out to buy some petrol and get recharge cards for my phone. I never drive at night in the rain but these items I need to buy aren’t far away. I know that staying at home may make me go back to my other means of happiness: cutting myself.
So I set out for the door with the gallon for petrol, purse and keys. I was reversing out of the driveway and trying to put on the seat belt when everything went blank.
After fourteen months of moving around, trying to make a nexus to family, my boyfriend, friends and colleagues, it all comes rushing back. The truck containing the new neighbour’s upholstery hit my car.