Everything is now Commercialized!

The world keeps evolving.

Now an old man marries a girl child.

A woman marries a man that can be called her son or grandson.

A woman proposes to the man.

A man marries another man.

A woman does the same.

A woman wakes up tomorrow and says that she wants to be a man.

A man does the same.

Now kids are doing the same.

 

Women remove their uterus because they don’t want to have children. Some have this agreement in their marriages. They want to be companions to each other but don’t want to have children.

Parents watch your children. The media is evil.

 

What happens to procreation? Can the transgender persons make babies?

Or gays?

Everything is now commercialized.

 

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I do not intend to judge anybody. I’m just sharing what I think has come to stay with us. These are just my thoughts and maybe the thoughts of others. 

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Of patience and Wisdom of Old.

In a beautiful sunny afternoon. You’re four years old playing at the back of the house near the woods. There’s Caesar, your spaniel chasing his tail. You’ve just seen a single flower (red rose) bright and blooming peeking out in the woods. You’ve always played at this place and never seen any flower before. You start walking as fast as your feet would take to get to the flower. Caesar comes along with you. You don’t stop when you hear your favourite aunt talking to you, telling you that she would help you with the rose. She has figured that you wouldn’t stop and intends to help you nevertheless. All you can think of is your lonely flower patiently waiting for your grasp. She is now shouting that you shouldn’t enter the woods but you ignore her again and run into it. Caesar is now barking and still tagging along. You are hoping to get it without any assistance and forgetting you are young and not as tall as your aunt.

You finally get to the tree but can’t reach up to the flower. So you keep trying and suddenly you notice you’re bleeding. The thorns of the rose has pierced your skin. Then you begin to cry. Your aunt has finally gotten there and she easily plucks it from the branch.

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The story can be likened to Jesus. We keep looking or walking in a direction. He wants to help us and/or walk with us on life’s journey but we don’t stop and walk side by side with him. We most times ignore him believing that we can achieve everything all by ourselves. Then when we fall or are in trouble, we remember Him.

After the glitz and glamour

I’ve been working on this post for over a month now. I’m not even sure I’ve written to everything but it’s getting longer which is what I’m avoiding. I’ve grateful to Eke, Abdul, and Yomi for their contribution and support in this post. Enjoy.

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I happen to be an avid reader of Bella Naija weddings where mostly the finest weddings of Nigerians are featured. Nigeria is a country known to do colossal stuff. For instance: weddings, burials, parties, etc. Looking at the pictures of the aforementioned weddings, I’m  wandering if these couples are still happily married after their humongous weddings. I’m not hating on these couples, I’m just wondering whether the zeal put into the weddings are also put into marriages. The time and money couples channel into building houses and businesses, does it commensurate with the time spent building their homes and giving their children love and affection? I’ve never been married and intend to one day but I’m so sure wealth isn’t an assurance of happiness. Of course, wealth supports happiness but it isn’t the apex of a marriage.

Some women are myopic about marriage. In other words, they give great thought to the wedding and very little to the marriage. They want lavish wedding receptions, expensive hired/borrowed cars for the occasion and other frivolous things. I’m trying not to generalize but what happens to considering your man’s pocket and cutting your cloak according to your size? I love weddings and flowers and the ‘loveliness’ that is the wedding but at the core of it, I’m thinking of my man and our marriage.

The Nigerian society has fostered the perception that a girl must marry as soon as she gets a degree. For instance, a girl maybe finishing school in a few months. She is also in a serious relationship with Mr Potential and Purpose Driven. He truly loves her but isn’t ready to settle down immediately and needs another year to establish himself. Her mother may have been asking her about him and when she’ll be getting grandchild(ren). Her parents may also be undergoing financial problems too.  She knows some friends that are married or would be getting married before the year runs out. She has her doubts about him: whether he’ll still marry her when said year runs out  or if she has enough faith in her boyfriend’s abilities. Mr Rich, Older and Well Established comes into her life and showers her and her family with gifts. He sweeps her off her feet and before she knows it she’s breaking up with Mr Potential. The story may end with her being a child-producing device who keeps being showered gifts while Mr Rich goes to find a mistress. Apparently, all he ever wanted was to find a woman suitable to carry his name and child.

Some women are comfortable with this idea and some others who feel such women have low self esteem or no sense of purpose in their lives. There are also other women who can’t keep their man and wouldn’t bother to try but get themselves into affairs. I hear it’s called an open marriage. What happens to the children? What impressions do the children have of you and marriage in general? Why cause such turbulence and confusion in their minds?

Most man would not value you if you have nothing to offer, it doesn’t necessarily have to be money. To some of us not yet married, please have goals and dreams aside being married. Let the man you’re getting married to know you have something to offer and be willing to help you fulfill your dream and achieve your goal. One would have to remember that marriage isn’t all about money but what both of you can bring to the table. For instance, you may be able to bring the money and the other may have a knack for handling finances.

A marriage is an institution that spans a lifetime which I love and want to experience one day and I believe one should be a part of it not for the wrong reasons especially societal pressure. Strive to become an asset, not a liability.

Some Navel Gazing

This is not a judgemental post. It’s just something I thought to share. Enjoy!

For many years, I prayed that God would make my parents extremely wealthy. I wanted to be able to ask them for whatever I wanted and get it. I wanted to be spoilt and pampered. I wanted to flaunt my (parent’s) wealth on my friends and everyone who cared to notice.

Well, God never answered my prayer. After sometime I realized that my prayer was a want and not a need. I finally figured that when I prayed, I wanted my will to be God’s will instead of the contrary. Selfish right? Well I didn’t see it that way. I thought money was everything.

Over the past twenty years, I’ve noticed that rich people usually fall into one these categories:

  • The parents are wealthy hence their children don’t see the need to believe in God and have a total reverence to Him.
  • The parents are wealthy and their children believe that by making good grades they are making their parents happy. They still forget that God gave their parents all that money and for that they should be grateful to Him.
  • The parents are wealthy and the children believe neither in God nor make good grades in school. They believe that their parents’ money will sort them out somehow.
  • The parents are busy making money and forget to look into the affairs of their children and usually leave it to the male/female maids or their relatives; who most times really don’t care about the needs of those children either except such need is to their advantage.

Maybe in some way I’m wrong. Maybe I should have given more examples. But if we take some time to think about this, there is an atom of truth.

My parents are far from extremely wealthy, they are not even the best parents, but God blessed them with enough money to take care of six children and some relatives. Is that enough for me? Of course it is and I’m eternally grateful. When I tell people that I don’t pray to be extremely rich they think I’m being too modest. But it’s the truth. I see friends say they want a big house, many cars, and separate bathrooms for themselves and their partners. I think it’s ridiculous. I just want money that is enough for myself and family. I don’t want money that would make my kids horrible or ungrateful. I just want enough that will make them beautiful both inward and outward.

All I want is to have the fortitude to accept God’s will as mine and some peace (contentment), wisdom and love. I think if we all have these things the world will be a better place.