On a Frolic of Her Own.

www.hannahbrencher.com
http://www.hannahbrencher.com

You know…

I couldn’t put a finger to it, but I recently realized that I was a depressing and pessimistic soul.

Nobody thought me depressingwords. I worked on making myself depressed effortlessly.

Have I grown this year?

I ask myself a lot this question but I really can’t answer. But  I’ll tell you this. I found God. No scratch that. I’m on a constant journey of finding God. It’s more like a quest. So I’ll say that I’ve grown in my relationship with Him and sometimes I think that I hear Him speak to me. Sometimes. It’s very rare but it happens.

Today…

I’m a bundle of  light and optimism. I like to encourage people even if it’s a puny attempt. I like to try anyway. And I don’t just tell them to make them feel good, I believe in it – what i say and in the person.

It’s all in you.

So I’ve chosen happiness over depression, sadness and pessimism.

Life is simple unless you’re not.

I stumbled on the aforementioned quote as someone’s twitter bio about two years ago. I didn’t understand but it stuck. I didn’t believe that it was possible or even made sense. Now it does. Life is that simple when you have God.

Lemme tell you one lily-secret. Her biggest fear is her. There! I said it. That’s a step I think – talking about it. So she goes into 2014. Scratch that . She goes into the next hour with these words:

do it afraid

*

Ps:

No. Matter. What. You. Are. Going. Through. There’s. A. Lot. To. Be. Thankful. For.

Breaking me!

On a good day, this is what breaking from depression feels like:

Finally God intervenes, saying :

Relax.

Remember that my love is just waiting to enter your heart.

I’ve already created you in my image. You are already important.

You have everything.

I’ve laid down my life for you – held nothing back from you.

Open your heart more to me and let me give more of myself to you.

Then our love union can start to sing.

:’)

Of patience and Wisdom of Old.

In a beautiful sunny afternoon. You’re four years old playing at the back of the house near the woods. There’s Caesar, your spaniel chasing his tail. You’ve just seen a single flower (red rose) bright and blooming peeking out in the woods. You’ve always played at this place and never seen any flower before. You start walking as fast as your feet would take to get to the flower. Caesar comes along with you. You don’t stop when you hear your favourite aunt talking to you, telling you that she would help you with the rose. She has figured that you wouldn’t stop and intends to help you nevertheless. All you can think of is your lonely flower patiently waiting for your grasp. She is now shouting that you shouldn’t enter the woods but you ignore her again and run into it. Caesar is now barking and still tagging along. You are hoping to get it without any assistance and forgetting you are young and not as tall as your aunt.

You finally get to the tree but can’t reach up to the flower. So you keep trying and suddenly you notice you’re bleeding. The thorns of the rose has pierced your skin. Then you begin to cry. Your aunt has finally gotten there and she easily plucks it from the branch.

*
The story can be likened to Jesus. We keep looking or walking in a direction. He wants to help us and/or walk with us on life’s journey but we don’t stop and walk side by side with him. We most times ignore him believing that we can achieve everything all by ourselves. Then when we fall or are in trouble, we remember Him.

Beautiful Impressions is 1!!!

*insert your feel-good-song and share in the comment box*

Hi guys! It’s only been a minute or is it?

Happy new year! I hope the year’s been good for you? If it hasn’t, then there are many more months for that to change. If it’s been good then keep being grateful to God.

I don’t even know where to start from. All that’s ringing in my head is that this blog is One. It was actually one yesterday but I didn’t have the time to come here.

I remember deleting the other blog and telling myself that I would never write again. If you are a writer you know that these things don’t work like that. Writing doesn’t just go away. I found myself itching to write; to have this outlet, for my ideas and thought processes. Within a month of permanently deleting the other, I started this one.

I can’t say that I haven’t had the mind to delete this one. There have been many times. There are still those times but something keeps stopping me. It’s already a year after. It’s been more successful than I ever imagined. I must confess that I keep feeling that this blog isn’t all that or there are great writers out there and this one is bleh. Then I read this blog from someone’s phone blocking the fact that I am the writer,  it’s not supposed to work but it does and just reading it like I do many other blogs and I can’t stop smiling. Yes, I’m a writer and a good one.

If you may, share this blog with somebody.

I’m grateful to God for the mind he has given me to write most of these things here. I’m grateful to friends for their encouragement and constructive criticisms. I couldn’t have done it without you all. You are all awesome.

Now I wish I was going to say that I’m going to be here more often from today. But I can’t. School beckons everyday until August. Please remember me in your prayers. Just mention ‘lily’ in them. God totally understands.

To beautiful impressions!!!

Love and laughter.

Lily.

The better half

I recently just understood the meaning of the term “better half”. I wish you dear readers would share your understanding with me.

Song: Taio Cruz’s Telling The World.

The better half.

It isn’t just anybody.

It’s that one you’ve chosen to love;

The better part of your worst days;

The one you come back to even after the shenanigans and/or good of the day;

He/she is more than just the icing on the cake.

He/she is that exceptional one.

Your exceptional.

 

So you’re you but your other half makes you a better you.

You know the part where someone says ‘marry someone who would challenge you and who would make you a better you’?

That’s the other side of you;

The other side of the same coin.

You both need each other

And I believe God makes this happen,

At least for the long term.

 

 

 

 

 

 

****I’ve been writing so many posts with love themes and it’s beginning to irk me but for some unfathomable reason I can’t help it. You’ll think the Y infestations ameliorates everything. It doesn’t. Or maybe I’m yet to see it. I have my issues but I’ll say someone (people) needed to read this at the particular time – their eyes/minds needed these words.****

Day Four

Wednesday.

Due to the events of the previous day, some students said they would sleep over since school was giving temporary accommodation. I didn’t wait for S’s colleague to come so I took a bike into school. I forgot to add that bikes run latest 7am and after that disappear since they are prohibited.

By the time, I got into the hall, it was filled to capacity. I heard students were in front of the hall as early as 3am. It was saddening and I already knew that there wasn’t hope for me that day. Here I was, thinking that I’ll be settled in by today. Students who later came disorganized everything. The officers refused to come to the hall. There were lots of struggle, throwing of the code of conduct by the miffed officer at students, losing of earrings and other possessions, injuries, etc. I got a mangled sandals in the end.

While the officers remained in their offices, collecting money to register students or registering their own. By the time they decided to give the masses, they spent an hour and stopped for the day.

I ate at the school’s cafeteria. I vowed that I would never eat the fried rice again so I went for their jollof rice with beef and moi moi and dodo while my friends went for garri and vegetable soup.

*sigh*

I miss cooking! Cooking is prohibited in school so we left to buy our meals from the cafeteria. Since this stress of registration, I ate very little usually a meal per day. The jollof rice and beef were good , the moi moi was crap. I’ll stick to Tetrazzini’s own. The dodo was softer this time. My friends said that the vegetable soup was nice. I wouldn’t test my tummy on that.

So I finished with that and thought of taking a cab home but I pushed the thought away. I walked down again this time for the fun of it and I wanted to try KFC. It’s not like I wanted to eat again. I was already stuffed for the day. I needed to make breakfast for the next day.

Haven’t seen chicken as crunchy as KFC’s since I left Lagos after secondary school.

I should point out that for unfathomable reasons, I wasn’t set back by the lack of progress from school. I took it well. I think I accepted that God knows best. Just like what Job from the Bible told his wife who mocked him and he told her:

“When God sends us something good, we welcome it . How can we complain when he sends us trouble” – Job 2:10

I accepted this little trouble I had as God’s own way of testing me and teaching me endurance and showering his blessings. I think it is mentioned somewhere in the book of Romans. I just believed God won’t let me suffer in end. God won’t let me not have accommodation in the end. So that day while I trekked, I thanked God for disappointments and prayed that I see his blessings in these disappointments.

Number Three

Many times, I’ll rather not share my thoughts under the ‘God and I’ category on here. Why? Well, I don’t want to be a preacher or one who doesn’t practice what she preaches or be judged or something. The point is that I’m not comfortable sharing that part of me. Somehow, I couldn’t hold back some of my thoughts and my itchy fingers started typing this.

Okay, I went for evening mass today and the gospel was taken from Luke 8: 4-15. – the parable of the sower and the seeds. We remember that:

Category 1: some seeds fell on the edge of the path and was trampled on and birds came and ate them all.

Category 2: some seeds fell on rock and when it came up it withered away, leaving no moisture.

Category 3: some seeds fell among thorns and the thorns grew with it and choked it.

Category 4: some seeds fell into rich soil and grew and produced its crops in different and several folds.

Sometime ago, I came to the conclusion that each and everyone of us fall into one of the four categories of seeds. I feel, rather let me speak for myself, I feel that at some point in my life I’ve been in one these categories. At the time, I honestly believed that I was in the fourth category. I didn’t believe that I fell into any other place (I’m sure my conscience was laughing at me). Today as I think about it I’ll say I fall under the third category. The result of The third category is that they are the people who have heard, but as they go on their way, they are choked by the worries and riches and pleasures. 

Yes, this is me right there. How many times have I heard the Word of God and told myself that I shall adhere and conform to His teachings in the Bible but after my meditation or the preaching/sermon that goes on in church I forget? How many times have I confessed and brought my sins at the feet of Christ and still gone back to the same sin?

*sigh*

I still fail to remember that God’s mercies are infinite and He’ll still forgive me. But you know what He wants me to do? He wants me to accept my faults, to accept my sins and ask for forgiveness. He wants me to try; to try my possible best not to go back to that sin or to remember Him when I’m met with those temptations. And that doesn’t change the fact that He still wants me to keep confessing my sins to  Him. Why? Because whether I like it or not I am a sinner and that’s why He died for me. He wants to redeem me.

So today, I have accepted that I am in the third category hoping to land in the fourth one someday. I hope that I maintain the third and climb to the fourth rather than going back to to the first and second categories.

Have you accepted which category you fall under and want to do something about it?