Alfred’s Creed.

Men

Hi guys, I know it’s been more than a while. In fact, I accepted that I was done here. But then… I’ll discuss this in a different post. I should spin a story around today’s post but I’ll rather just get down to what’s on my mind. Here goes…

I had this conversation with Alfred**. He asked me to advice him on the sexual harassment he is receiving from three ladies in his office. He works in a medium sized mall. He is the legal officer/HR manager. They come into his office separately. They touch him, kiss him, among other things. I advised him to leave his door open and move his table and chair so that its facing the door. Alfred didn’think that it was necesaary. He said that it will be out of place to start leaving the door of his office open. I told him that I couldn’t think of any other answer. So I told him that he should ask his friends. He replied “men don’t discuss these things”. They always find away a way to deal with this. He said that any man looking at this as a problem to the extent of discussing it with his friends will be laughed at. I was perplexed. But it got me thinking. Ladies don’t like to talk about the sexual pressure they get from their partners in relationships and men don’t like to talk about the sexual pressure or harassment going on in their workplace. Is this a fact or crap?

Same guy told me that it’s dumb to run away from temptation but smart to run into it, especially when his long time girlfriend won’t find out. Are these the kind ofn men that exist these days? Because apparently, I asked a couple of guys their thoughts on it and they said ladies and men don’t see anything in this. 

They won’t condone with it in their relationships but people are cheating without their partners knowing.

So people what are your thoughts?

 

**Alfred is incognito.

Image from here

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Everything is now Commercialized!

The world keeps evolving.

Now an old man marries a girl child.

A woman marries a man that can be called her son or grandson.

A woman proposes to the man.

A man marries another man.

A woman does the same.

A woman wakes up tomorrow and says that she wants to be a man.

A man does the same.

Now kids are doing the same.

 

Women remove their uterus because they don’t want to have children. Some have this agreement in their marriages. They want to be companions to each other but don’t want to have children.

Parents watch your children. The media is evil.

 

What happens to procreation? Can the transgender persons make babies?

Or gays?

Everything is now commercialized.

 

*

I do not intend to judge anybody. I’m just sharing what I think has come to stay with us. These are just my thoughts and maybe the thoughts of others. 

Conversations, Chances, and Commitment.

chances and hope

http://hope-chances.blogspot.ca/

On one of my many conversations with Bubu, we got talking about infidelity in marriage.

I was thinking about it the other day: why would a man or woman bother having a mistress or boyfriend or a man/woman that s/he enjoys getting attention from that isn’t the husband/wife, outside their marriage when such liaison would make for extra spending, chances of STDs, misunderstanding, lies, etc.

Why won’t they just try and work out their problems?

Bubu said that they are bored with their marriages. Then I said whatever is between you two can be spiced up, as long as you both accept that there is a gap (or something wrong) and are willing to fix it. Together.

Maybe I’m thinking this way because I’m not in their shoes and not married.

Then Bubu said that the psychology and biology of a man is different from that of a woman as regards infidelity. He added that he feels people get bored in their marriage because they don’t get married to their partners but to wives/husbands. So it’s easy to get bored, especially when physical attraction and sexuality is the basis of the relationship.

Let me stop here and say that this is Gospel(to me).

Some say that it is impossible for men not to cheat. Yes, they love you but it’s just something they can’t help doing. I still like to believe that there are exceptions.

I’ve been reading a lot of Genevieve magazines.  In one of the columns, a columnist was asked what she thinks better between the olden days and now when it comes to family, marriage and relationships. She said that in the present people are talking out and speaking their minds unlike the past where everyone bottled up their feelings and problems.

I thought about that and realized that she was right. The good part is that you talk about it. The bad part is that most times people talk about it but they don’t bother to try to understand. They usually want to work on it on their own.

An example is in marriage. You have problems in your marriage. You talk about it with your partner but most times (which is not always), you or your partner want to work on it individually. Which in the end makes them talk to third parties.

I hope I’m making sense or rather interpreting was the columnist was trying to say.

Sometimes.

Sometimes, I catch myself wondering if people could be just a little patient and a little more understanding. Life would be a better place to live in. If couples put at the core that they would need to learn and relearn what it means to love each other unconditionally – which means that they would be tested through different challenges. Everything good will come. Eventually.

Sigh.

I have to remember that it isn’t easy.

It is easier said than done.

Take A Bow

Hi guys! I only wrote this story a few hours ago and thought to share. Please pardon the wrong tenses. Enjoy!

*****************

“Chioma tell me that you aren’t still fucking that married man?”

This was a bbm I got from Emeka at 3.02am two days ago. I haven’t been able to do much of anything since I read the message. My mind kept going back to how much I loved this guy; how many times I made sacrifices for him. How many of my male friends I had stopped talking to because he felt insecure around them. How many times he quarreled with one of my sisters because she told him that she didn’t like him. I knew that my other sisters didn’t like him that much either but I was determined to make it work.

He’s been calling me and sending messages but I can neither pick nor reply the messages. I already know what I must do. I made a call to my sisters telling them of the decision I had made. They told me in clear words that they want the best for me and would support me in whatever I choose. I sent Emeka a bbm saying:

“Hi baby, can we see at 6pm today in our usual park?”

I get a reply immediately.

Perfect! Anything for you babe :*

After reading his reply, I wondered if it were the person that sent the same message two days ago.

So I came to the park a little late while it seemed like he had been waiting for sometime. As soon as I got out of the car, he was already behind me.

He looked scared and sweaty. It seemed like he was about to do something he didn’t usually do.

As I locked my car he was putting his hands on my waist and started apologizing for what he said two days ago.

He said:

“Baby, I’m sorry about what I said. I shouldn’t have. I only just realized yesterday that my so-called friends were not good people. I knew that they never liked you and decided to fill me with lies about you but I didn’t know they had to lie about you and your ex having sex last week. I asked you the question because I wanted to be sure that I was making the right decision before giving you this…”

He took out a little box from the pocket of his pants. When he opened it, it was the most beautiful ring I had ever seen. It was a platinum ring that consisted of a pearl in the middle which was my birthstone and tiny dark blue stones around which I assumed were sapphires his birthstone.

The ring was magnificent to me but not the man. I knew that I couldn’t spend the rest of my life with a man who couldn’t trust me; who took his friends’ words over mine and; who could fight with my fifteen year old sister.

He continued:

“Baby, I have had this ring for about a month but I have been scared. I know that I have been looking for loop holes against you but last night I prayed about it and I now know that you are the one for me.”

I couldn’t believe this was happening to me. I couldn’t believe that someone had finally found me worthy to propose at the age of 29. I was elated…

“Let’s spend the rest of our lives together. Marry me!”

… and angry.

I knew what I must do. I shouted:

“No!”

His expression was one of confusion.

Now I said it several times.

“No! No! No!”

He said,

“Baby, but I apologized, I said I am sorry. I’ll make it up to you. I said that I prayed and God reveled it to me that you were the One.”

His last words got me as red a luscious tomato.

I said

“You think you can say hurtful words to people – even those that matter the most to you and get away with it? You think I’m a device that does exactly what you want because you asked for it? No, I am not! You seem to have a magnificent ring but you are not a magnificent person. You don’t trust me but you want me to trust you enough to believe your promise of being a better person. Never! I can’t trust you. I won’t.” 

I grabbed the box from him, closed it and threw it on the floor. I entered into my car. As I reversed, I got the satisfaction of looking at the reflection in the mirror  and seeing surprise, anger and hurt mixed together.

I made sure that we made eye contact, then I gave him that sexy smile I knew he fell in love with from the beginning and drove off.